names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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