Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
