Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
