i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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