I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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