Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize