My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
