The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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