No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
