I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
