We're facebook friends in real life
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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