I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
