He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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