Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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