I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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