You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize