hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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