and you said cock pushups were impossible
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
