strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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