i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize