i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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