Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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