I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
What a dumb baby whore.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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