You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I will pee on everything he values.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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