Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
