Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
