It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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