They should really pass out barf bags in church
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
