yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
