My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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