I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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