i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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