I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
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