Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize