dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
