More tranny stories later!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize