She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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