Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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