shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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