We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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