Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
