oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
