Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
