So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
