He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
