Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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