Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
