Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
