I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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