She is in my trunk
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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