you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
