Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
