would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
