A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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