she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
