just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
