You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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