I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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