I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
