I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
