He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
