Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
