the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We are two peas in an std pod
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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