i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
