It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just had sex on a roof
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
