i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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