I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So. Much. Porn.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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