I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
