Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
