I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
