I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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