butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
