after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
