im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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