i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
