Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
