My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
